McMann & Tate meet Mr Pin
by inkscratcher
Summary: Once again, Darrin is battling Endora's witchcraft while trying to land a new account. Endora is making another effort to rid her daughter of mortal mahem
1. MrPin

Samantha's Mr. Pin

Things were buzzing at the office of McMann and Tate this morning as a nervous Larry (the yes man of all yes men), lit another cigarette while pacing the office. Mr. Pin, the no nonsense, toupee wearing president of Topkins Diapers was due to arrive at any moment. Larry dreaded it. They had dealt with Mr Pin many years ago after their success with the Tinkerbell Diapers account, but they could not sway him away from his beloved, self penned, slogan.. He was still using it and sales had slipped considerably in the last few years. Mr. Pin hated change and still dressed , acted and thought, like it was 1960, about the time that he personally wrote the painful slogan : " WRAP UP IN COMFORT WITH TOPKINS DIAPERS! WHAT YOU'RE SITTIN' IN…… WILL PUT A SMILE ABOVE THE CHINNY CHIN!" This was the absolute WORST slogan ever written. Only the president of a company could get away with such antics, although somehow this sold diapers back in the sixties. People didn't know any better back then ; they would fall for anything, especially that smiling baby on the box and in all the magazine ads and TV commercials, but now that Topkins had finally branched out to include adult products, that slogan seemed to stick in the public's craw. "Wonder why" , thought Larry, as he rolled his eyes.

Meanwhile, at 1164 Morning Glory Circle, Darrin (former Ad man of the year), was in another heated discussion with his mother in law about the importance of landing this account. If they could sway a man like Safetiliascus (Safety, for short) Pin, they could sway anyone!

" Really Durwood! Who cares if the account is worth $10,000,000.00? That's chicken feed these days! Account or no account, my daughter is still no more that a household drudge! Stripped of her heritage because of this mortal nonsense! Larry Tate has been promising to make you a partner for YEARS! It has never happened and it never will! " OOOOOOOO!, She hissed, as she vanished in a cloud of smoke.

"Good!" squeaked Darrin, "I'm glad the ol' dragon it out of my hair!" Hearing the car pull in the driveway made him aware of the time. Samantha was back from the store. He had to get to work. He met her at the door and made excuses and left. Better she didn't know about Madame LeFarge's visit!

"Well", mused Samantha half to herself and half out loud, "I guess he had a productive morning." She gave it no more thought as she proceeded to take the groceries to the kitchen.

Endora was stewing on the roof, pondering her next move. She had tried for years to break up this marriage and rid Samantha of the whole shebang. So far nothing had worked. For long…Still, it was worth another shot to try and free her only daughter of this life of drudgery once and for all. Why, oh why, couldn't Samantha see what all she was giving up? ……….Mr. Safety Pinnnnn, Well, it was time for a trip to McMann and Tate!


	2. Endora

Endora materialized in Larry Tate's office. She observed the old silver fox for a moment. He was speaking to Mrs. Wilson on the intercom and giving her instructions on what to do when the client arrived . She didn't usually cast spells on the Tates but today would be an exception. She first decided that the spell would be timed to activate when the words Mr. Pin were spoken. "Nooooooooow," she mused aloud to herself, "what 'kind' of spell will it be?" Mentally reviewing spells of the past and where she might have gone wrong, she decided that this spell would be put on the layouts themselves and Darrin and Larry. A spell causing Darrin and Larry to laugh at Mr. Pin, his hair, his ideas. Everything. Plus, the two ad executives would spout out terrible slogans uncontrollably until the client stormed out in a huff. The beauty of it was that neither one of them would realize that they were doing anything wrong..This way, McMann and Tate would suffer the loss and once that happened, Larry would find a way to blame Durwood, and would probably fire him! He would certainly be mad enough to give up on this mixed marriage then! "Yeeeesssssss, she hissed, this might be the straw that broke the camel's back!"

Suddenly the door burst open and Dumbo entered the office enthusiastically with his layouts. She waved her arms and the two mortals were frozen in time.. Her purple robe flowed as she waved her arms and began the incantation

"These two mortals are playing a game"

"With a client they both deem insane"

"A touch of the layouts puts the wheels in motion"

"For laughter, sarcasm, COMPLETE commotion!" "ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"

The intercom buzzed. Mrs. Wilson! With a wave of her arms and one more laugh for the road, she vanished, and a perplexed Larry Tate said:

"Where were we?"

"Uhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmm." Darrin began.

The buzzing intercom simultaneously snapped both of them back into the now. Larry spoke with Mrs. Wilson who informed him that the client was here. She had been reluctant to speak to Darrin ever since the scratch paper incident a while back. She was, after all, Larry's secretary.

Mr. Pin charged in the room like he was going to battle. A short, impatient, man with outdated clothes and the worst toupee in history, he was also known to think of his way as the only way. The ad men always found it hard to conduct business with him and his hair. But, if they could land the account, it would be worth millions because there was a possible merger with a transfer trucking business in the future.

"Good Morning Mr. Pin!" exclaimed Larry as he extended his had. In doing so, he accidentally knocked Mr. Pin's ever present hat to the floor. A hat that was never worn, but held.

" WATCH IT TATE!" screamed Safety Pin.

" How do you do, sir?" Darrin added

" Who gave you per mission to talk out of turn?"

A chastised Darrin looked startled.

Larry, remembering very quickly how touchy Mr. Pin was, hurriedly tried to smooth things over. Little did he know that he had already uttered the phrase that was going to kick start everything.

"Why don't you have a seat over here, Mr. Pin and let us present you with our layouts?" suggested Larry. Although the ideas were Darrins, they had previously agreed to present them together since Mr. Pin considered himself a man of importance and would only deal with senior partners in any business deal.

" We know," began Larry, "how attached you are to your tried and true slogan, but we feel that with today's market and with addition of adult products that maybe you should take a slightly different approach."

Mr. Pin pouted his lips, furrowed his brows and began to squirm. He came here to look at new artwork, not hear new SLOGANS!

'Yes," Darrin eased in, "today's market is a little harder to reel in than our past consumer" he continued as he opened the layouts. As soon as he pulled the first one out and handed it to Larry, both men began to snicker uncontrollably while mumbling the phrase Chinny Chin. Mr. Pin stared up at them with a look of shock and confusion.

"WHAT did you say?" He was beginning to boil.

"We said, cracked Larry, Chinny Chin! How ridiculous is that? HA HA HA HA HA! Why not, " Snug as a bug in a RUG!" With hair like that you're leaving yourself wide open!"

"Or," barked Darrin, "Get Topkins Diapers! "You'll never know what you're sitting in!" HA HA HA HA "!

"WELL!", screamed Mr. Pin, "IF THIS IS AN EXAMPLE OF HOW THINGS ARE DONE AROUND HERE, YOU CAN FORGET IT! McMANN AND TATE CAN JUMP IN THE LAKE." This induced further laughter from the peanut gallery. Not only were his slogans the pits, his sayings were too.

"OOOOOH!"

With that, he did slam his hat on, knocking his hair sideways, and stalked out in a huff. Larry and Darrin were still involved in rib splitting laughter that was getting worse by the minute and they really didn't know why. They were also unaware that Mr. Pin had left nor did they care. They were patting each other on the backs for finally putting him in his place. It was only when Mrs. Wilson crept in and explained what had happened and why, that they realized that the meeting had somehow taken a terrible turn. Somehow when they put the layouts down and looked at each other things just didn't seem funny at all. Mrs. Wilson explained that she heard the whole thing over the intercom and she was just beside herself. It was at this moment that Darrin knew that somehow witchcraft was involved.


	3. Aunt Clara's In The Mix

Chapter 3

Aunt Clara In The Mix

Meanwhile, back at the Stephens residence, Samantha was outside working in the flower bed and watering the grass. Suddenly she heard a banging noise coming from inside the house. The laundry room. And she wasn't doing any laundry. She ran in to check it out and suddenly realized she could hear a voice too…She zapped it one good time and it stopped and the lid popped open to reveal a tiny, flustered Aunt Clara.

"YIKES!" exclaimed Samantha and popped Aunt Clara out of the machine and onto the living room couch. "Aunt Clara, are you all right?"

" UH UH UH …..wellllll. Yes. I must have taken a wrong turn!"

" I should say so. Now you stay put while I go turn the water off and then we can chat about the purpose of your visit." Samantha gave her a little pat on the shoulder and went back outside. A minute later, the phone rang. It took Aunt Clara a moment to realize that it needed to be answered. Theses mortal gadgets still baffled her sometimes. She picked it up, clearing her throat .

" He he He--llo? St- St STEPHENS residence" A moment of silence, then:

"Aunt CLARA? What are you doing there? I mean, where's Samantha? ",asked an anxious sounding Darrin.

"She went to turn the water off."

"HUH? Nevemind. When she gets back in there please have her call me at work..Endora's up to her old tricks again and I need Samantha to get her to take off this spell. We just blew the Topkins Diapers account out the window because of her handy work!"

"I'll get her." clonk! Aunt Clara dropped the receiver on the table and it clacked in Darrin's ear on the other end. She was concentrating on popping Samantha into the living room by witchcraft.. Nothing. That's strange, she thought.. Darrin could hear commotion on the other end but couldn't figure out what was up. Aunt Clara was calling Samantha and suddenly she could hear trhe voice of a tiny little girl somewhere in the house. Oh. There it was. The little girl in Tabitha's doll house was trying to tell her something.

" What is it dear? Can't you seen I'm busy?"

"Aunt Clara! It's me! Samantha!"

" Ohhhhhhh welll, if it isn't you..No time for hide and seek me dear."

"Aunt Clara. I'm stuck here. In this house. What's going on?"

"Don't worry dear.. I will have you out in a jiffy."..She tried to reverse her spell but nothing was working.. She would have to contact Dr. Bombay on this one and she also wanted top help Darrin. She was about the only one of Samantha's relatives that even cared about him. She channeled her energy on Topkins Diapers. If she was lucky she could zap herself to his office and straighten things out. Suddenly a business card fell out of the air. It read: TOPKINS DIAPERS SAFETY PIN, PRESIDENT & CEO. Maybe her luck was changing.

"Aunt Clara?" the tiny voice wailed.

"ooooooooooooooooooo yes! Dr. Bombay, Dr. Bombay, paginging Dr. Bombay…e-e-e-mergency come right away." she called before popping out of the room, and into Mr. Pins hotel, in front of his door, in a baby carriage, marked SPECIAL DELIVERY.


	4. The Doctor Is In

The Doctor is In

Dr. Bombay appeared in the Stephens' living room wearing a suit of feathers." SAMANTHA!", he bellowed. "What seems to be the problem? HELLO!" he was just about to think this was a false alarm when he heard the tiny voice.

"Dr. Bombay, I'm in here!" peeped a tiny Samantha…She sounded like a baby chick.

" I see that." mocked the doctor in a tiny voice."Loosing weight? HA HA HA HA HA!", he cackled.."Be careful or the cat will eat you!"

"We don't have a cat." an exasperated Samantha replied. "Dr. Bombay, this is one of Aunt Clara's mistakes. Can you fix it?"

"CERTAINLY! IT'S A SIMPLE INCANTATION OF CHANGING A MINATURE DOLL SUCH AS YOURSELF, INTO A HUMAN. ANY WITCH DOCTOR CAN DO IT!"

"Weeeeeeell, you're the only game in town. Can you give it a whirl?"

"Stand back…or should I say up??? Ha ha ha ha ha ! Oh well. Sorry…………here goes. FROM HUMAN FORM TO MINATURE MANICAN BACK TO THE FORM TO STOP THIS SHENANIGAN!"

BAM! Samantha switched back to normal size.." Thank you doctor Where's Aunt Clara and why are you dressed like that?"

"Heavens if I know! Do you expect me to keep up with you guests too? And my outtit? Don't tell me you have FORGOTTEN about the annual duck races? You need to get out more!"

"Yes I guess I do."

"Cheerio!" The doctor vanished. Samantha noticed a business card on the floor. Topkins Diapers. That was Darrin's current account. She headed to the phone to call him and noticed it was already off the hook. Not good. Somehow she knew Aunt Clara was responsible. Wherever she was. Dialing the number, she wondered why Aunt Clara came to visit to start with when suddenly a voice said 'McMann & Tate'

"Mr. Stephens office please."

"Oh Sam, it's you! Thank goodness!" Darrin wailed and quickly explained the events of this morning.

"I'll try to reach mother. Don't you worry sweetheart. I'll get to the bottom of this." I hope, she thought. "MOTHER! MOTHER! I need for you to remove what ever spell pronto! No response. Not even an arrow in the living room.. Well, I'd best get down to the office, she thought.


	5. A Baby At The Door

A Baby At The Door?

Mr Pin heard the knock and opened the door to find the most unusual looking baby he had ever seen. Looked like an old dame in the face but was a baby in a carriage. Probably one of those hairbrained stunts from that wacked out agency McCann & Tate. Larry Tate had been bugging him for years about his account. Well, this was the last straw Publicity stunts weren't his bag and the piece of mind he was going to give Larry Tate would prove it! He hoped this kid was getting paid a lot because this was the worst makeup job he had EVER seen! He yanked the carriage by the handle and stomped to the elevator. Aunt Clara was confused yet again on how this happened. She did one thing right. She found Mr. Pin. Sometimes being a witch paid off

Samantha popped into Darrin's office to find him pacing the floor. She tapped him on the shoulder and he yelped like a kicked pup.."Sam, what are we gonna do?"

"I'm afraid we haven't seen the worst of it yet. Aunt Clara is involved too." said Samantha

"I know! I talked to her when I called you!"

"What?"

"Yes!"

" We have to fid her. I found this business card on the floor at home. I have a feeling she was headed to Topkins."

"The client isn't there. He's in a hoitel room in town. That is, if he hasn't already gotten mad and left!"

Before they could ponder that, thunder and lightning filled the air and Endora appeared in the office.

"What took you so long?" asked Samantha.

"I'm sorry darling. I was at the Austrailian Kangaroo Races. It takes a while to fly half way around the world."

"This must be the week for races . Anyway, WHY you cast this spell in the first place we can discuss later but for now, we need for you to fix this mess and while you're at it make Larry not remember anything and Mr. Pin agreeable to anything Darrin says.."

" Welllll all right! For you darling. Not for him. Maybe next time he'll learn not to argue with mother!"

"YOU…..!" Darrin started

"Nevermind that now, Samantha interjected, we don't have much time. They didn't have any time. About that time, the door flew open and in barged an unadorned Mr. Pin with a baby carriage and a trailing Larry Tate. Once again, the mortals were frozen in their tracks while Endora reversed the spell and Samantha made a quick exit and materialized in spirit form to watch the event ,to make sure everything went smoothly. Endora took care of business and exited in a huff with a warning to Darrin.

"ONE DAY DURWOOD, YOU AND YOUR MORTAL NONSENSE ARE GOING TO PUSH ME TOO FAR!"

"Darrin! Have you got those layouts ready? Mr. Pin doesn't have any more time to waste. He thought our meeting was at 10. It's 2 o'clock.

"TATE! STEPHENS! WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS OUTRAGE? IF YOU THINK YOU CAN WIN BACK MY BUSINESS WITH IDIOTIC PUBLICITY STUNTS AND SLOGAN CHANGES YOU'VE GOT ANOTHER THINK COMING!" barked Mr. Pin.

"Yes, Stephens!" continued Larry, "I didn't authorize any publicity stunts"

"What?" a puzzled Darrin wailed.

"Ah Oh", thought Samantha, mother forgot about and I did too. She also forgot about Aunt Clara. No one knew she was in the baby carriage. Suddenly Samantha saw a mood change come over the client and figured that it MUST be Aunt CLARA in the carriage. He began to grin and said

"I'll admit you boys go a long way to prove your point. Now I see why you think I need to change my slogan for the older market. You don't want to humiliate the public by making them feel guilty about buying things that they need. I'll say one thing, this was pretty clever. You know how I love publicity stunts. But, tell me this boys, can we use another baby? Not only is this the most humiliated looking baby I have ever seen, it's the ugliest and has the WORST makeup job of any I have ever seen!"

"Of course, said Larry,, You know, when I approved of this stunt, naturally we had to take what we could get on such short notice." bragged Larry. Darrin shot him a look and Samantha took this as her cue to get her Aunt out of there. She popped out of the office and into the hall, then she knocked on the door while simultaneously opening it.

"I'm here for our late lunch date." she cued. Darrin headed in her direction and almost jumped out of his skin when he saw a tiny Aunt Clara in the baby carriage. He cringed.

"We're still tied up here honey, but you could do us a favor by taking this model back to the agency." he suggested. Larry and I have to go over the layouts with Mr. Pin."

"Sure thing, Darrin, another time." she replied as she wheeled Aunt Clara out of the office and out of the building.


	6. Breakfast The Day After

Epilogue

Breakfast The Day After

"Turns our Aunt Clara was a big help, wasn't she Darrin?

"Yes she was, but it could have been a disaster. What caused her to stop by?"

"Oh….she was just coming for a visit and happened upon everything else. She's fine now except for leg cramps. That carriage was a tight squeeze for her, but let's not forget that it was her spell that turned Mr. Pin around in the end."

"And Let's not forget that it was your mother's spell that got us in this fix to start with." Darrin replied

"What was that about anyway?"

"Believe me, you don't want to know." They studied each other over the rims of their coffee cups.


End file.
